hahah so much for consistancy . i got a bit too good at sitting with my thoughts

guessed it also helps that the edgy melodramatic "rants" moved to tumblr

whatt its been two weeks uhh hello augst wow i thought it'd freak me out more the passing of time and all that stuff . belhh :p

i have little to no free time and if i do i spend most of it on discord talking to strangers who think they know me all too well. that and tumblr is the best place for a growing boy like me ..'hey what ever happened to ur coding project ur so proud of'-shut the fuck up

if i ever get around to being an adult (lets be real ) i MIGHT find the effort to get a image hoster and finish up the gallergy and shrines and stuff . safe to say being a last year student in asia is the worst time to start a new hobby. learnt that the hard way R.I.P constant vertigo

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lifes been going pretty swell , i havent threatened to end my life in a while ahah im gonna get hit by a bus in like two weeks swear

i recently picked up writing , i mean ive always like doing it sproadically every now and then but i've been sitting down to make two whole fics in one afternoon recently

the subject for my writings are my ex-friends oc that we made a whole AU for , unfortunately we dont talk anymore haha whoops but i like these characters and now with free domain - can shape them however i want and write about them like my own OCs

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in terms of my r/im14andthisisdeep observations, i found that human memory is so untrustworthy that the reason i feel like a piece of shit is becasue i have memories of me being a peice of shit that nobody shares. lol so yeah good riddance i no longer feel like im the devil rencarnated and people actually like me ..sometimes

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its safe to say project G.A.L has come to and end , FUCKING FINALLY . i mean its pretty obvious , im writing fanfics about this guy's self insert daily without getting a heart attack so yeah maybe its over. Also with meeting these new people , ive found that this guy's humour that i prasied from heaven to earth is the humour of just anyone you'd meet on discord , so much for being one in a million , what was bro thinking. turns out i can live without the guy he was just dragging me down , oh well , good life lesson i guess

these two weeks deserve a postive A- a for effort

oh my godness consistancy??? in this economy?? crazy ik

anyways i've actually been putting this blog off cause my interest has been slowly oh so slowly fading away. like i said i never liked coding and kinda made this to prove a point but i like sitting and thinking abt my week and stuff so i'll probably just do that. dont excpect anything much from the gallery , its way too ambious a project for sb so busy like me.

i WAS offically gonna be done with G.A.L today but hey speak of the devil and he shows up in your email inbox at 9am the next morning . so yeah fatfuck skeleton emailed me and was pulled from the depths of my closet out in the open .

cant say i care too much , it was a shocker before classes but nonetheless there's a reason my guy's a skeleton

i cant believe its already almost augsut , it seemed like summer barely started and now its gonna be over soon . i dont like how fast time moves , ew ,yuck sitting in classes doesnt even feel long enough anymore . things seem to move so fast and i have so much to do with so little time . blehhhh i dont like thinking about it

i got my room renovated yet it doesnt seem to do much in terms of fixing any existing problems . i mean i like that i have my own seprate bed now and a little cornor i can put posters and shit on but still the noise isnt gone . i HATE HATE HATE noise , seems typical for someone who could probably pass for nerodivergency and my sister is lOUD AS SHIT . It drives me insane the high pitched shrills , there never seems to be a moment of peace anywhere , its all too loud and i hate it god save me

all and all my week was uhh decent , i think that speaks for most of my weeks. the dust from renovations are clogging up my airways constantly so its moving to a C , i like breathing

i seem to have a little habit of wanting to do anything BUT the things i was told to do. thats litearlly why is webpage exist . i dont even like coding, i just wanted to not make a strawpage beacuse i thought "thats what everyone does" and wanted to try sth new

now 3 montsh deep into this project i finally willed myself to make a strawpage and if im being honest with myself it was so easy i wanted to shed tears of joy

it was abt the most satisfying thing ive ever done , not having to worry abt crashing my layout and fucking up mobile display yet still making it look how i wanted

the site is up now and looks basic asf but honestly im not one for over-styled maximalist pages, i have no plans for that site however as the user interface PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF. i know its an indie project but damn is it kinda annyoying to use

i already have a blog and plans for shrines and gallergy here so the strawpage i made might just be there for mobile users who cant access this webpage , i might make a mini blog there , its really simple to use yet doesnt give much way to ease my migrains

your boy also tried and failed to make a nekoweb as it was really laggy and tho i know how zipcodes work i dont think ive matured enough to gradute to a nekoweb just yet

yes i redid the blog thing and turns out will be sticking to the weekly/biweekly updates instead of just logging thoughts ( i have tumblr for that now)

stuff keeps happening to me recently and tho im in a happier place now i wished less shit would hit my fan and blow into my face

im still working on project G.A.L, which is another personal project of mine focusing on me Getting A Life outside of those i cling onto

its been getting easier for me to go abt my day without constantly thinking of the bigbacked skeleton in my closet, in terms of going no contact with said skeleton, i think its been around 1-2 months

i have to constantly remind myself that its ok for me to miss what me and fatass jackass bitch had and i think G.A.L id making decent progress

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recently the prospect of my age has started to dawn on me , im graduating soon and i dont know what to think abt growing up

for one i dont like the rat race that are asian entrance exams but i also think its damn time i get new FUCKING friends. i could go on and on abt how fucked up my current friends are but i also think its weird i keep attarcting these peolpe. you are what you eat and turns out i eat horseshit

i actually like the freedom and responseiblity of growing up, i wanna make my own decisions and all that stuff. its just with the current state of the world and economy rn such freedom doesnt seem all that rewarding. god forbid a guy own a house in 2067

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ive also been thinking abt becoming trans full time , or maybe just masc full time . idk such ideas excite me tho im perfectly comfortable with my femininity

i dont think these of kinds of decisions happen over night and i'll be thinking abt it , ive consulted one SINGULAR friend of this and he's also "trans" . We're both genderfluid but he hasnt been a woman since 2023, maybe i'll do what he does

still like girls tho HALLEHLUJAH JESUS *tongue out emoji*

AVERAGE B

over dramatic title but i did go through a micro tantrum trying to position my little mii charater ON TOP of my abt me box

as u can see using "laryers" didnt work and he's pertually stuck pearing at you from behind my pop up contaniner

hes also covering some of the stamps but i'll say thats actually deliberate artistic choice,he's quite charming tho i wish i could show his feet as well

i must say i thought he'd pop out way more than he does now but if i go in to add an outline i think id rather jump from the nearest brigde. My coding is fucked up and should not be fucked with even more

also they should add a spell checker in these uhh coding things idk maybe they do and im just very not tech savy

(ꐦ—ᴗ—)

i really need to get over my non mobile friendly fomo or whatever the fuck this is cause its ruining the fun.

This is a personal blog/ thoughts archive and not social media, i get to write what i want and my inability to code and use margins will not stand in the way of fucking up the layout when viewed with anything smaller than ur average ipad

my fustration is doubled nay tripled because i currently have a molar the size of my big toe growing sidesways into my skull but still screw you CSS please just do what i want

✧(🝦言🝦╬)

(i really wanna make a 𝖘𝖎𝖝 𝖘𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓 joke idk why i picked such a funny day to talk abt my nationalist ass upbringing )

[ I hate my own language at times (Vietnamese). its rough and blunt, the sentences sound rhythmless and dry. not to say its not a beautiful language. I really like the poetry and pieces written in my mother tongue yet i cant say it something i actively love or feel proud of

This wouldnt be a problem if i wasnt raised so god damn patriotic. i feel like i cannot dislike a thing “forefathers fought tooth and nail “ for me to have . I think from the moment i could understand the words coming out of my mothers mouth ,ive been fed nothing but praise for my home country (it was the first thing iwas taught in preschool when i was 4, jesus chirst)

ive always been taught that i should feel nothing but pride ,that i NEED to love every nook and cranny of the nation thousands have laid their lives down to protect.

This especially applies to language , throughout history my ancestors could not write nor speak their own dialect freely -being a colonized nation and all that . even the introduction of Latin letters by the french into our writing ( a system now officially used) was with the aim of destroying old literature written in chinese characters

With how much gruesome clawing and pain it seemed was needed for me to be able to speak Vietnamese, theres not wonder the patriotic guilt fucks me inside out with a chiansaw . am i ungrateful or is this meaningless and over-compesnsating nationalsim ragebaiting me . Find out next time on uhh scott VS his thoughts

i have an irrational fear of using up all of the GB im granted, watching the percentaged slowly rise as i upload graphics to make my webpage look less like sb's obituary readings and more like my own actual personal website .

Anyways its more rendered now. we finally have a background and links to the other projetcts i intend on finishing later ( my art gallergy and shirnes ).

proud to say CSS wasnt that much of a pain up the butt whilst making changes this time round tho i dont suppose that'll be the case forever

(¬_¬")

i tried my best, i realy did but this website will HAVE to look like shit on mobile to look decent on pc

no one knows how violent CSS makes me, i am a being of light and joy but lock me up with a computer and tell me i cant use "position absolute" to position my items and i WILL BLOW MY SHIT SMOOTH OFF

(×_×) ╾━╤デ╦︻

- "oh hi coding gods can i put my cute little image below these boxes of texts"

- "no"

- " oh thats a little mean, can i at least make this site safe for mobile "

- "no."

being fr tho i really dont have the slightest clue with this coding stuff . i thought i did until i found myself counting pixels to align my "under construction " image perfectly just to find out it fuses into the THE FUCKING intro box when viewed on mobile . A quick google search tells me to ulities the @media thing, but a better solution is to uhh delete the image completely fuck you. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

[ _it's me guys. tah dah . i had to spend a good amount of time on a lot of shaddy websites but this page is finally animated!!

__One page i went to to find blinkies and the code to add em in was suspiously right winged?? i didnt know trump supporters had hobbies i thought they shot guns all day.

__That site also supported AI and most of the blinkies were just "Country girl" written in the pinkest shade you can imgaine but pinker, nothing wrong with the aesthtic i just thought it was funny next to a " PRO LIFE" blinkie with the american flag as the background

__ It was the only site with the html code pre generated but i sucked it up and learned how to actually code them in because i would rather die than add " daddy's good girl" on my site just bc they already had the code. Most blinkies here are from masterposts